Moms of Multiples From One Mom to Another

As I have shared with you, I have recently become a mother of two. Like many, I worried how this transition would be. Would it be easier than I thought? Harder? How would my daughter handle not being an only child anymore? The questions running through my mind were endless, as I prepared to enter this new stage of life. 

I remember when I was pregnant with my first. I knew my life was about to change in the biggest way possible. Becoming a mommy was going to be the greatest blessing I had ever known, but I also knew I would be responsible for this tiny little human and had no idea what I was doing. But do any of us as first-time mothers? Of course not. We are all on this amazing ride together. So, I took one day at a time. I didn’t worry about the what ifs while I was pregnant. Instead, I soaked up every moment during those precious nine months. From the first ultrasound to the baby showers to the painful contractions, it was the most joyful experience I would ever go through in this life. And to God, I am so thankful for giving me the blessing of going through it all twice.

In the midst of everything that happened this second time around with my daughter’s health, I still made every effort possible to prepare us for our newest little addition. Here are a few tips from my own personal experience that really helped me prepare for the transition from one child to two.

Explain the journey of pregnancy. 

For us, Sadie is three. Therefore, when we told her mommy was going to have a baby she wondered when he/she would be here. She really didn’t understand the baby was growing inside mommy’s belly, especially in the beginning. She also didn’t understand it would take such a long time to meet her new baby brother or sister. Of course, as mommy’s belly grew, she started to understand and become much more excited because she could see her sibling was growing.

Include the baby in conversations. 

Since she was an only child, I would try to mention the baby most days in casual conversation because I wanted her to understand, as best she could, that when the baby arrived, he/she would be with us forever. I might say something like, “Aren’t you so excited a baby will be here with us soon. Then it will be daddy, mommy, Sadie and baby brother.” Every time I felt him kick, I would tell her so she could feel her little brother kicking. I also had the “What to Expect” app. Each week, we would watch the video explaining how the baby was growing and what was taking place during that particular week. Once we knew we were having a boy, she would say, “Look, it’s baby Kaleb,” when we watched the videos. It was so sweet.

Enroll your child in a sibling class. 

We were able to enroll Sadie in a sibling class to help her prepare for her new baby brother. The class was filled with kids around her age. She learned to always wash her hands before touching the baby, that she could only hold the baby with the help of mommy or daddy and to never touch the baby’s head or face. The kids practiced giving their babies a bath and changing a diaper. It was such an awesome class for her. She was so excited, and it really made her look forward to being a big helper for mommy around the house when her baby brother arrived.

Plan special outings before baby arrives (and after). 

I probably stressed over this more than anything, and it was the hardest part of becoming a mommy of two after our sweet boy arrived. For 3.5 years, it had been me and my daughter. She is my best friend, and we did everything together. She is mommy’s little angel sent from Heaven. When baby brother arrived, it was so hard because I was postpartum and adjusting to having a toddler and a newborn. I couldn’t give her ALL my undivided attention, which is all she had ever known, and I know it was hard for her, too. Before her brother arrived, we tried to take advantage of every moment we spent with our baby girl before she was no longer the only child. We planned a last-minute trip to the beach over the summer. We had an entire day my husband and I both spent with her, too. She went to her first movie at the theater, went swimming, played at the park, etc. We tried to soak in everything we possibly could. After baby brother arrived, I also planned a mommy-daughter day because it is important to still have those precious times set aside for you and the older sibling, too. This is something we try to do monthly.

Take one day at a time. 

With a newborn, each day is a different experience. Some days they might be happy and content and other days experience a terrible little bellyache. In the meantime, you might have your little one hanging onto your leg begging for you to work a puzzle with them or running through the house dressed like a princess or superhero and wanting you to play make believe, too. It is challenging but so very special. Even when the days are long and you feel like crying at times because there needs to be two of you, just remember it goes by so incredibly fast. You learn to adjust to your new norm. I wasn’t nervous about having another baby because this time around I knew what to do. For me, it was how I was going to be the best mommy to BOTH of my babies and, I promise momma, just as motherhood came natural the first time, this too, you will figure out. A couple weeks in you won’t even be able to remember what life was like before because your heart just grew even more.