Experiencing Autism Together

Imagine being trapped in a crowded room. The walls are painted in colorful abstract designs, and the lights are blinding. Your mind is pulled in different directions due to the visual distractions and numerous conversations taking place. The noise is chaotic, and your head begins to throb. Anxiety and fear take over. You want to escape, but there is no escape. This is your life, each day, experiencing autism.

Many have experienced sensory overload, but people with autism experience it every day. Some days are better than others, but constant anxiety makes it difficult to communicate and engage in social interactions. Autism is a serious developmental disorder that impacts the nervous system. It cannot be cured, but it can be treated.

Characteristics of autism
Did you know that 1 in 68 girls has autism, and an astounding 1 in 42 boys has this disability? Signs usually appear between two and three years of age. They may have difficulty with communication, social interactions, eye contact, and paying attention. Compulsive behavior, self-harm, and sensitivity are also common characteristics. The disability often continues into adulthood, and extreme anxiety can become overwhelming for an autistic person to find or keep a job, manage finances, maintain a balanced diet, run a home by themselves, or even enjoy leisure and recreational activities. It is often hard to begin or maintain friendships, and poor abstract thinking can create hazards when a quick response to an unexpected event is needed.

Autistic children have fear, anxiety, hopes, and dreams just like every other child, but the rate at which they pass each milestone is different in each case. Some may find it difficult to accomplish their goals due to the disability, but significant strengths can be found in these individuals. Many display reliability, a good eye for detail, produce highly accurate work, excellent memory for facts and figures, as well as the ability to thrive in a structured and well-organized environment. Early recognition, behavioral, educational and family therapies may reduce the symptoms and promote positive growth.

What is Experiencing Autism Together?
Experiencing Autism Together is a local non-profit 501c3 organization that provides support and activities to families experiencing autism in Henderson and surrounding Kentucky counties. Dawn Wheeler, founder, and mother of an autistic son gives God credit for the program being created. “Lots of prayer was needed because I am not a born leader. I wanted to help others experiencing the same things I was, but I didn’t know how or where to begin.”

Community living support, Pam Tapp, and speech therapist, Kathy Mathis, joined Dawn as a support group. They looked for speakers and any educational material that could be found on the subject. “We started networking and building relationships with others going through the same struggles,” Dawn stated.

Dawn’s mentor, Lynn Morton, encouraged Dawn to get people involved. Lynn explained, “You have to create activities in social environments so the autistic members can practice their social skills. Practice makes perfect, and any family experiencing autism should practice being in social situations daily.”

Dawn said she attributes the group’s annual Autism Walk to Stacey Stewart, a local mom and board member. “Stacey had the idea of a walk to help fund the program, but no one involved had ever done a fundraising walk. We had these wristbands I wanted to buy, but we didn’t have much money, and we had no idea how many to buy. So, I asked everyone to pray for two weeks for a number. Everyone got back together, and the number was 300. I said there was no way we would give out 300, but we did!”

More than 50 families are involved with the program and more join the walk every year. “The kids have claimed the walk as their own, and they are so excited about the walk every year. It’s so moving to see the connections and bonds,” Dawn added.

Individuals being helped
Shelby Baird is a beautiful, 23-year-old, autistic woman who loves being a typical girly-girl. “Shelby loves going horseback riding, and she is currently taking lessons twice a week at Blue Moon Stables,” Pam, who serves as Shelby’s community living support, said.

Shelby volunteers with Pam at Marsha’s Place and Pet Spa and is in the process of finishing paperwork to volunteer at Busy Bee’s Daycare. She enjoys going shopping for lipstick and flats (shoes). “I also like going bowling with my boyfriend…He’s really nice,” she added.

Shelby currently lives with her parents, Tammy and David, but her goal is to become independent. She graduated from Memorial High School in Evansville and is considering taking further education classes. “I really want to go to USI with my friends from Memorial, because I want to be like them. I also want to get married to my prince charming, but not too soon,” she explained.

Drake Morton lives at home and is the oldest of four siblings. His mother, Lynn, said she feels like they experienced everything first because Drake is one of the oldest members of the group at 30 years old. “Every milestone completed felt like it was the hardest, but I must say the absolute hardest was exiting high school and starting life without the school routine or socialization that came with it,” Lynn said.

“Drake was blessed with the help of an aid who volunteered to stay with him until he left high school. They are still very close, and it made his whole educational experience the absolute best it could have possibly been,” Lynn added.

As a child, the greatest struggle for Drake was socializing. So, being part of a team and feeling accepted really helped. He played Challenger League baseball and basketball every year they had it, and he still loves watching UK basketball.

“Drake works at the Hugh Sandefur Training Center and has been there for two years. He feels involved and is excited to go to work each day. He is in a safe place, and that makes me happy. He still struggles with socialization, though, which is why I am so thankful for the Experiencing Autism Program,” Lynn explained.

Dawn’s son, Jax Wheeler, is 19 and lives in an addition built onto their home. “Jax is so independent, and his room is always so clean. He makes his own bed every day, but hates doing laundry,” Dawn laughs. “He likes inviting people over and entertaining. He just wants to be his own self.”

Dawn and her husband both have teaching degrees and always knew Jax was behind. They suspected it was autism but couldn’t get a diagnosis until he was six years old.  Shortly after, he was diagnosed with fragile X syndrome.

First Steps gave Jax developmental, occupational, and speech therapy. He was also blessed with an aid from third grade until high school when he had developed the skills he needed. “We put him in every sport that would take him to help with his socialization. Soccer and running were his favorites, but now that he’s gotten older, it’s softball,” Dawn added.

Jax loves Special Olympics bowling and is currently doing Special Olympics swimming. “Sports are often looked at as such a competitive thing, but watching an autistic child play in a sport really brings out the ‘team aspect’ and helps develop a child. Every child loves being a part of a team, autistic children especially. They beam with pride and self-confidence when they are part of a team, or just walking down the hall with others who accept them. They want nothing more than to fit in and be like everyone else with all their hearts,” she said.

Jax works at Mr. B’s and Pizza Hut, and like any typical teen, he loves watching TV (Impractical Jokers and Duck Dynasty are his favorite shows), texting, and spending time with his friends and his church group.

How does Experiencing Autism Together help Henderson families?
Experiencing Autism Together provides families with help spiritually and emotionally through devotion and prayer. It is a network dedicated to acceptance and understanding of families experiencing autism, and it helps not only the families as a support group but also the individuals. It is about getting the community involved, connecting people together, and forming relationships one step at a time.

“There are kids that never get out of the home during the summer,” Pam said. “This program allows those kids to get out and do something with others like them, that they wouldn’t have gotten to do otherwise. The activities are not only for autistic children but for siblings and other family members as well. It helps siblings establish a support group. We have to get these families out, or they will never learn how to cope with social outings.”

“It is a blessing to have an autistic child because it makes you see and appreciate things in a different kind of light. The board members and I just pray and thank God for the wisdom to help meet the needs of others. Every family is struggling in their own way and any struggle we can help with makes a difference,” Lynn added.

The organization has sponsored family events and a wish program to attend different places and participate in various activities such as bowling, swimming, Christmas parties, art classes, Cates Farm outings, hotel stays, and open houses. The program also donates to other organizations who help those with autism such as BIAC (Brain Injury Adventure Camp), Hugh Sandefur, Growing Minds, Riverview School, Healing Reins, and HLM.

Experiencing Autism Together is funded by the Walk for Autism and the money raised through special fundraising events. Please visit their Facebook page or email [email protected] for more information about the Autism Walk on April 29 and other upcoming events in the community.