Healing With Words

A Journey from Loss to Hope

Photos by Darrin Phegley

Dani Girten spends her days commuting to and from her job at the Henderson County Attorney’s Office, working as editor/publisher for Macaroni Kid serving Henderson, Owensboro and Madisonville, and caring for her children, Righley, 15, and Ellie, 5, and her partner, Brandon — all while balancing a blossoming career as a self-made author. Writing is an endeavor she never saw herself getting into, but one that has brought healing and hope to herself, her own family and many other families.

The Healing Journey

Dani’s journey into writing was not a conventional one. In fact, she noted that it is not something she ever saw herself doing.

“I’m not the writer in the family. My sister was. I didn’t even like reading until I was in my 20s,” she said.

For Dani, writing began as a therapeutic undertaking, guided by the encouragement of her therapist after the devastating and unexpected loss of her three-year-old daughter, Presley, in 2017. Dani turned to journaling as a means of processing her grief. However, she soon realized the lack of resources available to help her son, Righley, then eight years old, navigate his own grief over the loss of his sister.

Determined to find a way to ease her son’s pain, Dani channeled her grief into her first book, “Dear Presley.”

On her website, Dani writes about her journey into becoming an author, saying, “…amidst the darkness of grief, I found a flicker of light in writing. It became my lifeline, my way of pouring out all the emotions I couldn’t put into words. And when I saw my son struggling to understand and cope with losing his sister, I knew I had to do something.”

“Dear Presley,” Dani said, is a book written from the perspective of a brother to his sister in heaven, crafted with the intention of offering solace and understanding to siblings mourning the loss of a loved one. Drawing from her own experiences and conversations with Righley, Dani, through her book, was able to reassure children that it’s okay to grieve and that their feelings are valid.

“It’s been healing in some ways. Other times I feel like, when I’m writing or I’m trying to drag out these emotions, I’m like a total wreck. I’ll be in there and I’ll have like two words down and I’ll be sobbing,” she said. “It was a lot harder than I anticipated – writing to her on my own and, you know … just putting down the thoughts was one thing.”

Trying to figure out what to write that might help her son and others who are coping with the loss of a sibling was something entirely different. Dani said she tried talking to Righley to better understand his needs, but it wasn’t always easy, especially for a young child who’s understanding of death and grief can be complicated and confusing.

“Processing and trying to get the book together was a very long process. It’s a children’s book, so you know, you don’t use a whole lot of words, or you don’t think you would, but it took me like, nine months to a year to even process all the words and get them out there,” she said.

The journey from conception to publication was a difficult one in many ways. Wrestling with her own grief while striving to create a meaningful and impactful book presented its challenges, yet, she did it. After finally getting her story on paper, she enlisted the help of a close friend for illustrations and sought feedback from editors to ensure her message resonated, and after that, she self-published “Dear Presley” on Amazon.

“I put it out there and I got really good feedback from it, and then one thing led to another and then I wrote Everwood,” she said.

Moving Forward

“Dear Presley” was just the beginning of Dani’s literary endeavors.

Following her first book, Dani then published “Discover The Realm of Everwood,” a story inspired by her love of Harry Potter and the encouragement of her dad. The story follows main characters Luca and Mia back in the magical realm of Everwood and marks the first in an upcoming chapter series for children ages 8-11.

Then, in the past year, Dani lost her father. Though the loss shook her and her family, she used that grief to tell another story,  “Bella’s Big Heart,” meant to offer solace to anyone grieving the loss of a loved one.

“My dad was like, my biggest fan,” she said. “‘Bella’s Big Heart’ … It’s for everybody. What I always say is, grieving is like you have all this love and the person that you want to give it to is not here anymore.

“And so it kind of feels like it doesn’t have a place to go, and so ‘Bella’s Big Heart’ is Bella trying to figure out what to do with all this extra love that she has, and so she’s talking to her mom and she’s like, ‘you should share it with other people.’ And so she’s sharing that love that she has for the people that she lost with others.”

The reception to Dani’s books has been overwhelmingly positive. From therapists seeking resources for their clients to her own family, and other individuals who find healing and hope through her books, her words have touched many who are grieving loss.

“I want to help other families that are grieving. Grieving is such a hard thing, especially when it comes to kids,” she said. “I think it’s good that kids know that it’s okay. You know, it’s okay to grieve. It’s okay to have these feelings. It’s okay that the person or the animal that we love isn’t here, and you can share that love with somebody else.”

A Budding Career

Balancing her writing with her career and the responsibilities of motherhood is no easy feat. Yet, Dani said her colleagues at work and her family are incredibly supportive of her journey and she continues to be inspired to share her stories with others.

As Dani looks toward the future, her journey as an author shows no signs of slowing down. With new projects on the horizon, including a sequel to her children’s series, entitled “The Guardians of Everwood,” Dani remains committed to using her words to heal and uplift others.

Dani’s books can be found at Butler’s in Henderson, Barnes & Noble, Amazon, or on her website, www.authordanigirten.com.