
Father’s Day is a day we celebrate the wonderful men in our lives. Those who have raised us. Those who have stepped in and been the father they shouldn’t have been. The grandfathers, uncles and friends who will never know how much their love and support has meant in our lives. Kids pick out Father’s Day gifts for their dads with the allowance money they have been saving up. Families go out to dinner to their dad’s favorite restaurant. Father’s Day is a day of happiness. There is so much joy on this day showing our love and appreciation to the dads in our lives. However, you also find those who have lost their fathers, and this is where my story begins.
Growing up, my dad was my best friend. He was my hero, and my biggest fan. He was a small business owner, which kept him very busy. However, this never took away from showing his love for his children, grandchildren, and his wife. He stood there after each recital to greet me with flowers. He drove to every basketball and soccer game no matter the distance. He encouraged me, supported me and pushed me. He was the man I looked up to. I was daddy’s little girl.
April 2008 forever changed my life when my family found out that my dad had a rare form of bladder cancer. It could be treated, but there was no cure. There was one specific type of chemo his doctors felt would be our best option to provide him with the best quality of life, but it did not work as we had all hoped. That Father’s Day was like no other. It was the first that I truly appreciated the significance of this day, as I was slowly watching my dad’s life slip away and didn’t know if this would be the last Father’s Day spent with him.
I was still in college working on my undergrad degree. I drove home every weekend to be with my dad, and I dreaded driving back to school each Sunday evening.
The end of June rolled around, and my dad decided he wanted to go ahead with our family vacation to Panama City Beach. We only planned a short trip, but his doctors wanted him to take some time off to build his strength back up before trying a different type of chemo. The beach was his favorite place to be. No stress. No worries. Just his toes in the sand, a cool breeze and the sound of the waves hitting the shore.
We received a call the second night we were there that my 8-year-old nephew had been taken to the ER. Early the next morning my dad woke me up, tears rolling down his face, and said we had to pack and get to Louisville. They found a tumor on my nephew’s brain stem. In that moment, my dad wasn’t the least bit concerned about his own health. All he cared about was being there for his grandson and his daughter. With answered prayers the tumor was removed as best it could, and it was benign. My nephew is 17-years-old now, and no one would ever know what he went through at such a young age. My parents stayed at my apartment in Louisville for two weeks because my dad was not leaving my sister’s side. That was just the man he was. Always putting everyone before himself.
The second round of chemo really made him sick. It was so difficult seeing someone I loved so much become so ill. I remember sitting on the side of his bed just talking. We talked about our faith, how he wanted me to finish school and chase my dreams, that he wanted my little brother to walk me down the aisle in his place, and so much more. These weren’t conversations any 20-year-old wants to have with her daddy, but I am thankful for every one of those moments spent with him.
By Christmas 2008, he had lost so much weight from being so sick that he didn’t look like himself. He was not giving up though. He was such an inspiration to everyone around him. His strength. His hope. His fight against this terrible disease. Then it happened. Good news! We found out he would be able to see a doctor at MD Anderson Cancer Center. I knew this was our answered prayer. He was in no condition to go just yet, but I couldn’t wait to get him down there. All he wanted to do was beat cancer, so he could go around and share his testimony with others.
Three weeks later he fell by the side of his bed. My mom talked him into going to the hospital to get checked out. I talked to him on the phone that night not knowing it would be the last time I heard those three little words, “I love you.” I received a phone call from my mom the next morning around 4 a.m. on January 15, 2009. She told me I needed to get home. Everything became a blur at that moment. I was rushing around my apartment trying to throw clothes in a bag to make the two-hour drive home. It was the longest drive of my life. With my flashers on, all I kept saying was, “Please let me make it there.” Thankfully, I did make it in time. I was by his side, along with the rest of my family, when he was able to speak his last words “I love you” and took his last breath.
Our first Father’s Day without him, I remember my brother and I placing a ribbon on his grave that said, “Happy Father’s Day.” I was so full of sadness because I was supposed to have my father here to celebrate. I realized, however, that even though he is no longer here physically doesn’t mean I can’t celebrate and remember him on this special day, or the days to come.
Now that I am married, and we have a daughter of our own, I can celebrate my husband on this day. The father he is to our daughter. There are so many characteristics he has that remind me of my father, and I just look up, smiling, knowing my dad would love the man I chose to marry. I was 21 years old when he passed. He missed my college graduation, my wedding and the birth of my first child, but I have always tried my best to remain strong in my faith knowing that’s what he would have wanted. For example, my husband and I were married on my dad’s birthday! It’s a special day I get to share with him. Even though he is no longer here on Father’s Day, I can still find so much joy in life knowing I wouldn’t be where I am today without him.
There are so many who can relate to my story, but I encourage you to spend this Father’s Day celebrating in remembrance if you have lost your father. Go out to his favorite restaurant. Bake his favorite dessert. Watch old home videos or look back through pictures. Take your family and do something he always enjoyed like fishing, hiking or golfing. For example, my dad loved going to the movies. Do whatever makes you feel close to your father this Father’s Day and enjoy celebrating in memory of him! If your father is still here, let him know how much he means and make him feel extra special because we truly never know what tomorrow brings.
Happy Father’s Day from our family to yours!
Lyndi Mauk, editor of Henderson Family Magazine, was born and raised in the Bluegrass State. She is grateful to be going through life alongside her husband and best friend, Brandon, and be a mother to their little girl.
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